Weird Stuff I Did When I Was A Kid: Part 2, Tuddie

One Christmas, when I was probably seven or eight years old (maybe younger) we got a kitten. Her name was Tuddie; she was all black with the exception of a little white star on her chest just below her neck. She got her name for her attitude, which she had A LOT of from a young age.

Now, I am not sure how long we had her when I decided to do this, and although I still find it really funny that I would do something like this to an innocent cat, I feel really bad about it. Keep in mind that I was a little kid!

So we were living near “Big City Land” and Amanda and I shared a room upstairs in the apartment. It was night time and I believe my Grandma Mary was there visiting, but I am not entirely sure. Anyway, I had decided that Tuddie had done something that I didn’t approve of or maybe I was just sick of all of her attitude. Either way, I wanted to teach her a lesson by pouring this tub of water on her. This wasn’t just normal water though. For some reason I had decided to put the following in it so that the message would sink in:

·         Lotion

·         Crayons

·         Perfume

·         Some other stuff I can’t remember

Amanda and I had two elephants that were larger than the kitten Tuddie, they looked exactly the same in every way, but for some reason Tuddie always, always, always went to Amanda’s elephant instead of mine. I used Amanda’s elephant as bait. I laid down a towel and placed the elephant upon it. I then convinced Amanda to join me in my evil plot because I couldn’t lift the tub of water by myself.

Phase one of the plan was complete.

Amanda and I then hunted for Tuddie until we found her; my parents did not question why we wanted her, we always wanted to play with her. We then took her up to our room.

Phase two: Complete, we had her in the room.

Amanda and I quickly turned off all the lights in our room, with the exception of the lamp which we had placed near the elephant. Tuddie cautiously wondered over to the elephant. As soon as she was on the towel with the elephant Amanda and I lifted the tub of water and dumped it on the poor unsuspecting Tuddie, she freaked out and so did Amanda because we spilled most of the water onto her toy (the stuffed animal elephant).

Mission complete.

Tuddie had run over to the door, shaking with fear and I imagine hatred for whatever had gotten her all wet. We knew we had to dry her off before we let her out of the room, but the only towel we had was used to dry off the elephant and to catch the water that we had poured onto it and the kitten. At first we tried to dry her off by letting her sit under the lamp on the floor, but it soon became clear we needed more towels. Amanda and I then faced another problem: how on earth were we going to get the towels to dry her off from the bathroom downstairs? All the adults were in the living room.

I decided that they wouldn’t be too angry if Amanda was the one getting the towels (she always was able to do stuff like that since she was the youngest) so while I distracted the adults, Amanda was assigned the secret mission of gathering enough towels to dry Tuddie off, but not so many that they would notice that we had raided the bathroom. After I saw that Amanda had succeeded in retrieving the towels I ran upstairs. We dried her in the precious few minutes that we had left, we knew that it was getting late and Tuddie had been missing for too long; my mom had asked me if I had seen her.

As soon as we had dried her off enough and hid the wet towels, my mom came upstairs and opened the door; releasing the still-damp kitten. She gave us a puzzled look as if to say “She was in here the whole time?” and then told us to come downstairs to say goodnight and that it was bedtime.

Later that night Amanda and I fought over the fact that her elephant still smelled like that disgusting water we had poured on Tuddie. And for years afterward, her elephant kept the smell, reminding of us how mean I was for plotting such a mean thing and how bad it was of Amanda to help me. But we always laugh about it because for some reason Tuddie ended up liking water.

Yes, I was a mean child, but I don’t know why. I would NEVER do that sort of thing now. Also, if you think about it, pouring water onto a cat really isn't that mean. I didn't beat her or anything cruel, I just felt like pouring water on her.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Sorry about this post, it is a little weird. I normally don't like V-day, but I don't know, I don't care much today.

Ta ta for now!

My Cat is a Jerk, but I Love Him

I always thought of my Uncle Angus as someone who would have created Veggie Tales. He just seems like the kind of guy who would spend time thinking of things like that: singing vegetables. Not that it is a bad thing; I just always assumed that he would have loved to play a part in the making of it in some way. Maybe he did and we just don’t know it? Wouldn’t that be a story to tell?

I want to do something on a regular basis and blogging is fun for me, it has been for a long time.

Anyway, onto something a little bit more interesting than a blog talking about how I like to blog. I ran into my friends Hazel and Leigh, it was great to see them again, and they are planning Valentine celebrations. I am very anti-Valentine’s Day. It started long ago which I was going to a school in Three-Cities-Clumped-Together Land, but I don’t really want to get into that now.

Hmm, what to talk about? Oh. I looked at my credit card bill. I almost died of a heart attack and then last night I was fighting off panic attacks, it was great fun. My cat, Clint, kept looking at me like “Why do you look all pale? What is wrong? Why don’t you want to pet me?” He thinks he is the most perfect thing in the world and I should realize this by giving him all of my attention, but only when HE wants it. Lately, he has taken to attacking my legs. I call his method “Peek-a-Boo” because he hides under the bed, looks once Ah yes; she is sitting right in the middle of the bed. Then he checks a second time Target has not moved, I repeat: Target has not moved. He then shoots out, jumps up, digs his claws into my flesh, rips, and then sprints back under the bed. I think he hopes every time he does this I will not realize where he has gone and in his hope he thinks that he will not be scolded for being an asshole. He is mistaken. Every time.

And every time he does this I am left to wonder why in the hell I decided to get him. And every time afterward he becomes all nice and cuddly and sweet. Then I feel bad for having thoughts of poisoning his food or something like that and then I pet him and then, being as he is an asshole, he again claws the shit out of my leg. Damn cat. But I love him.

I posted this one mainly because I have no idea what to talk about today. Of course, right after I post this I will get an idea and it will be funny and I will have to write it down and yeah. Maybe I will talk about things I ACTUALLY did last night since this was written a little while ago and I was too lazy to make a new one. It actually happened about a week ago. Yup.

Ta ta for now!