This is a Letter, don't judge -.-

This is a letter; a serious one.

I am not sure where to begin, but here it goes:

Dear Me,

I know that you have stopped talking to people about the things that bother you, that is probably a bad idea, but I understand that you are just trying to protect yourself while you sort things out on your own. Good for you for trying to sort things out on your own, I know you like a third opinion and lately you have come to like a little drama for a little bit of attention, which is just annoying; even to yourself. I like to believe that you have stopped for the most part, again: Good for you.

Lately you have been feeling a little mixed-up about a lot of different things. I know you are not comfortable sharing what you’re feeling mixed-up about with all of the people who may or may not be reading this, so we will just leave it at that. Also, you have really forgotten a lot of things that you used to live by, which is really disappointing.  I am hoping that after reading that book you just bought you will start to really think about things again. Good books always force you to reevaluate your life, which is something I know you enjoy. No joke, Caitlin, you actually enjoy doing that sort of thing a little too much and sometimes it gets out of hand, why? No one knows, except you and you haven’t figured it out yet either.

Another thing: Please do not do that whole “double standard” thing you really hate when other people do, but you do as well. What. The. Hell. Caitlin. Really? Do I need to say more on this topic? No, I don’t.

I know that you try to be funny, but since most people can’t even begin to understand what you are talking about until it is too late, they don’t think that it is funny and you just feel really lame, but you know what? I like your jokes, so don’t stop telling them, even if it is only to make yourself laugh. I don’t mind that you laugh as much as you do and you shouldn’t worry about if people don’t like hanging out with you because you laugh all the time. It doesn’t matter because you have friends who do like hanging out with you and your laughter.

And I just realized how much of this letter is really just reassuring you of things, but I know that sometimes you really just need to hear it; not from the people who are supposed to say these things to you, but don’t. Not everyone will tell you that you are being a drama-queen and need to calm the flock down, but you have some friends that do tell you. I know you love them very much and care for them more than anything, even though you don’t tell them enough how much you do care and how you hope to never lose their friendship. I think that the ones that know you well enough do know how you feel; maybe. Maybe you should tell them, if you haven’t told them already, I know that you have told some of them. That should probably be your next letter.

I hope that you do look at this letter sometime and see what I was trying to tell you, see the suggestions that I didn’t directly say. I am sure you will, you love to read what you have written, now smile at yourself because you know that I am making a joke that no one will understand.

Always,

Caitlin

P.S. You see the world as a giant musical and it is highly amusing to you because no one knows what song you are making them sing in your mind, you are so weird, but I love you in the way that I should. How can you love anyone else without first loving yourself? Not in that “Oh, my God, I am so wonderful” sort of way, but you get what I am saying.

Weird Stuff I Did When I Was A Kid: Part 2, Tuddie

One Christmas, when I was probably seven or eight years old (maybe younger) we got a kitten. Her name was Tuddie; she was all black with the exception of a little white star on her chest just below her neck. She got her name for her attitude, which she had A LOT of from a young age.

Now, I am not sure how long we had her when I decided to do this, and although I still find it really funny that I would do something like this to an innocent cat, I feel really bad about it. Keep in mind that I was a little kid!

So we were living near “Big City Land” and Amanda and I shared a room upstairs in the apartment. It was night time and I believe my Grandma Mary was there visiting, but I am not entirely sure. Anyway, I had decided that Tuddie had done something that I didn’t approve of or maybe I was just sick of all of her attitude. Either way, I wanted to teach her a lesson by pouring this tub of water on her. This wasn’t just normal water though. For some reason I had decided to put the following in it so that the message would sink in:

·         Lotion

·         Crayons

·         Perfume

·         Some other stuff I can’t remember

Amanda and I had two elephants that were larger than the kitten Tuddie, they looked exactly the same in every way, but for some reason Tuddie always, always, always went to Amanda’s elephant instead of mine. I used Amanda’s elephant as bait. I laid down a towel and placed the elephant upon it. I then convinced Amanda to join me in my evil plot because I couldn’t lift the tub of water by myself.

Phase one of the plan was complete.

Amanda and I then hunted for Tuddie until we found her; my parents did not question why we wanted her, we always wanted to play with her. We then took her up to our room.

Phase two: Complete, we had her in the room.

Amanda and I quickly turned off all the lights in our room, with the exception of the lamp which we had placed near the elephant. Tuddie cautiously wondered over to the elephant. As soon as she was on the towel with the elephant Amanda and I lifted the tub of water and dumped it on the poor unsuspecting Tuddie, she freaked out and so did Amanda because we spilled most of the water onto her toy (the stuffed animal elephant).

Mission complete.

Tuddie had run over to the door, shaking with fear and I imagine hatred for whatever had gotten her all wet. We knew we had to dry her off before we let her out of the room, but the only towel we had was used to dry off the elephant and to catch the water that we had poured onto it and the kitten. At first we tried to dry her off by letting her sit under the lamp on the floor, but it soon became clear we needed more towels. Amanda and I then faced another problem: how on earth were we going to get the towels to dry her off from the bathroom downstairs? All the adults were in the living room.

I decided that they wouldn’t be too angry if Amanda was the one getting the towels (she always was able to do stuff like that since she was the youngest) so while I distracted the adults, Amanda was assigned the secret mission of gathering enough towels to dry Tuddie off, but not so many that they would notice that we had raided the bathroom. After I saw that Amanda had succeeded in retrieving the towels I ran upstairs. We dried her in the precious few minutes that we had left, we knew that it was getting late and Tuddie had been missing for too long; my mom had asked me if I had seen her.

As soon as we had dried her off enough and hid the wet towels, my mom came upstairs and opened the door; releasing the still-damp kitten. She gave us a puzzled look as if to say “She was in here the whole time?” and then told us to come downstairs to say goodnight and that it was bedtime.

Later that night Amanda and I fought over the fact that her elephant still smelled like that disgusting water we had poured on Tuddie. And for years afterward, her elephant kept the smell, reminding of us how mean I was for plotting such a mean thing and how bad it was of Amanda to help me. But we always laugh about it because for some reason Tuddie ended up liking water.

Yes, I was a mean child, but I don’t know why. I would NEVER do that sort of thing now. Also, if you think about it, pouring water onto a cat really isn't that mean. I didn't beat her or anything cruel, I just felt like pouring water on her.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Sorry about this post, it is a little weird. I normally don't like V-day, but I don't know, I don't care much today.

Ta ta for now!