Thursday Already?

Where do the days go? Anyway, we have about 7 inches of snow here, I am not happy about it, but I have heard that it will be gone by Monday when I start work so I'll live. I am very excited that I have finished Job Quest, although depending on the hours I may take part in another Job Quest for a second job so I can move out sooner rather than later.

OKAY! I need to post something that isn't just off the top of my head, which means the next Weird Stuff I Did When I Was A Kid. Although I am sure it really isn't that funny and it is slightly inappropriate. I guess we will have to see. So here it is:

Weird Stuff I Did When I Was A Kid: Part 3, Child’s Play

My sister and I had what many little girls had when they were kids: Barbie and her boyfriend Ken. We also had way more stuffed animals than any child would ever need. For some reason when we were kids we liked to pretend they had sex (yes, we knew what it was, probably way too early, but eh?) and then, not so much with Barbie, but with our stuffed animals, we would pretend that they had gotten pregnant. After a while in our game, when we decided that enough time had gone by, they gave birth, complete with what we imagined was the sound birth would make “Sqquuuiisshhh!” Oh yes. We were that strange. Some of our stuffed animals were able, by some miracle, to give birth to babies that were not even their species because when a dog and a cat got together that is exactly how it happened in our world. The mothers of these babies would also be able to run across a jungle of madness and jump from tree branch to tree branch immediately after said birth.

I am not sure what possessed us to do this, but it filled the hours. We also pretended that there were hunters trying to murder us and our stuffed animals for no reason. They wanted to kill us all and the rainforest because they were evil men who beat up grizzly bears and innocent house-cats named Big Bear and Miss Kitty. Then there were the games where we would pretend that Big Bear was some evil king who took pleasure in beating suitors who had romantic interest in his many daughters. Oh, and Scooby-Doo was often a female in these games.

There were many other really strange games that we played with our Barbie’s and Bratz dolls. For example, Skipper and her brown-haired friend always got pregnant and ran away after the father abandoned them to deal with the struggle alone. And always Barbie understood, while Ken flipped the fuck out. It was always raining (in my mind) and Barbie would say that she wanted a divorce if that was the way Ken was going to be. And so on.

Also, the Bratz and their men seemed to be ALWAYS having sex at parties or concerts or pretty much where ever they could and whenever they could. Probably because the Bratz dolls looked all skanky when standing next to Barbie, then there were the games where Ken would go off with a Bratz girl and then realize his mistake and go back to his Barbie.

Did anyone else do these sorts of weird things? Because I doubt that Amanda and I were the only ones who did stuff like this. At least I hope we weren’t the only ones that did this sort of thing.

Ta ta for now!

P.S. Don't judge me, unless your judgement is that I was a very strange kid. Well, Amanda and I were strange kids.

Weird Stuff I Did When I Was A Kid: Part 2, Tuddie

One Christmas, when I was probably seven or eight years old (maybe younger) we got a kitten. Her name was Tuddie; she was all black with the exception of a little white star on her chest just below her neck. She got her name for her attitude, which she had A LOT of from a young age.

Now, I am not sure how long we had her when I decided to do this, and although I still find it really funny that I would do something like this to an innocent cat, I feel really bad about it. Keep in mind that I was a little kid!

So we were living near “Big City Land” and Amanda and I shared a room upstairs in the apartment. It was night time and I believe my Grandma Mary was there visiting, but I am not entirely sure. Anyway, I had decided that Tuddie had done something that I didn’t approve of or maybe I was just sick of all of her attitude. Either way, I wanted to teach her a lesson by pouring this tub of water on her. This wasn’t just normal water though. For some reason I had decided to put the following in it so that the message would sink in:

·         Lotion

·         Crayons

·         Perfume

·         Some other stuff I can’t remember

Amanda and I had two elephants that were larger than the kitten Tuddie, they looked exactly the same in every way, but for some reason Tuddie always, always, always went to Amanda’s elephant instead of mine. I used Amanda’s elephant as bait. I laid down a towel and placed the elephant upon it. I then convinced Amanda to join me in my evil plot because I couldn’t lift the tub of water by myself.

Phase one of the plan was complete.

Amanda and I then hunted for Tuddie until we found her; my parents did not question why we wanted her, we always wanted to play with her. We then took her up to our room.

Phase two: Complete, we had her in the room.

Amanda and I quickly turned off all the lights in our room, with the exception of the lamp which we had placed near the elephant. Tuddie cautiously wondered over to the elephant. As soon as she was on the towel with the elephant Amanda and I lifted the tub of water and dumped it on the poor unsuspecting Tuddie, she freaked out and so did Amanda because we spilled most of the water onto her toy (the stuffed animal elephant).

Mission complete.

Tuddie had run over to the door, shaking with fear and I imagine hatred for whatever had gotten her all wet. We knew we had to dry her off before we let her out of the room, but the only towel we had was used to dry off the elephant and to catch the water that we had poured onto it and the kitten. At first we tried to dry her off by letting her sit under the lamp on the floor, but it soon became clear we needed more towels. Amanda and I then faced another problem: how on earth were we going to get the towels to dry her off from the bathroom downstairs? All the adults were in the living room.

I decided that they wouldn’t be too angry if Amanda was the one getting the towels (she always was able to do stuff like that since she was the youngest) so while I distracted the adults, Amanda was assigned the secret mission of gathering enough towels to dry Tuddie off, but not so many that they would notice that we had raided the bathroom. After I saw that Amanda had succeeded in retrieving the towels I ran upstairs. We dried her in the precious few minutes that we had left, we knew that it was getting late and Tuddie had been missing for too long; my mom had asked me if I had seen her.

As soon as we had dried her off enough and hid the wet towels, my mom came upstairs and opened the door; releasing the still-damp kitten. She gave us a puzzled look as if to say “She was in here the whole time?” and then told us to come downstairs to say goodnight and that it was bedtime.

Later that night Amanda and I fought over the fact that her elephant still smelled like that disgusting water we had poured on Tuddie. And for years afterward, her elephant kept the smell, reminding of us how mean I was for plotting such a mean thing and how bad it was of Amanda to help me. But we always laugh about it because for some reason Tuddie ended up liking water.

Yes, I was a mean child, but I don’t know why. I would NEVER do that sort of thing now. Also, if you think about it, pouring water onto a cat really isn't that mean. I didn't beat her or anything cruel, I just felt like pouring water on her.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Sorry about this post, it is a little weird. I normally don't like V-day, but I don't know, I don't care much today.

Ta ta for now!